Even before I got married, I knew I wanted children. I went as far as deciding that if I am unmarried by the age of thirty-five, I’d look for an attractive, intelligent man and get myself pregnant. When I became a mom however, there were times when I would feel so down especially during the post-partum baby blues stage that I would wonder why I ever wanted to have one. From being a carefree, independent couple, Ramil and I got stuck at home with a small creature who dictates our meal times, bath times, monthly budget, and the amount of sleep that we get. No wonder there are some men or women whose choice is not to have a child.

If there’s some kind of societal expectations when it comes to marriage and the age one is supposed to get married, then there’s so much more when it comes to having children. Most of my unmarried friends would express their longing to settle down because they know that their biological clocks are ticking. A few of them, however, are now enjoying their careers and financial independence so much that they’d get irritated with questions of ‘when are you getting married?’ or ‘when are you having kids?’

More and more couples are choosing not to have kids. A lot of their reasons are not so surprising. A friend once asked whether it’s such a bad thing to want to focus on herself and her future husband for most of her life. Below are just some of the sentiments of those who choose to go childless:

• Pregnancy. Morning sickness, darker skin in some parts of the body, big nose, falling hair, swollen feet, no coffee, no alcohol, huge tummy. It’s no wonder some women don’t want to get pregnant, ever.
• Birth and delivery. After nine months of carrying your baby inside you, you’d think that nothing should be more difficult. Wrong, because the whole nine months culminates into hours of painful labor.
• Budget. The expenses of having children are no joke. Hospital bills, monthly check-ups, milk, medicines, diapers, toys, education. The list goes on and on until the child finds his own job.
• Free time. Well, the lack thereof.
• Sleep. Again, the lack of it.
• From husband and wife to parents. Having a child has a huge effect on a married couple. Priorities will change big time and it takes a lot of work to remember that you were a couple first before you were parents.
• Diaper changes, inconsolable crying, terrible two’s, separation anxiety, rebellious teenage years, etc.

I’m pretty sure those who have made conscious decisions not to be parents have more than the above as their reasons. But it makes one wonder why being parents is still the more popular choice.

• Babies. They’re cute, cuddly, and could take away one’s exhaustion with the littlest smiles.
• Procreation. Some people just love the idea of their own mini-me’s.
• Old age. Unfortunately, some people decide to have children because they’re afraid of being alone when they get old.
• Convention. Sadly, some people have children simply because it’s the conventional thing to do.
• Love. Cheesy as it may sound, some people are meant to be parents.

Gone are the days when deciding not to have children is unheard of. Nowadays, people have a choice. To each his own.