Even the seemingly perfect marriages are not exempt from experiencing small bumps along the way. Most of the time, no matter what the issue is, small criticisms build up and contribute to the problem.

Still, it does not mean that you should avoid criticizing your partner. Sometimes criticisms that are given and taken constructively could actually improve your relationship. Below are some tips on how to handle criticisms in your marriage.

• Ask before you criticize. Let your partner know that you want to express something that will come as a criticism. This way, your spouse can choose not to hear it.
• Criticize with love. Never give criticisms as a way of attacking your partner. Say them in a way that will still acknowledge his good traits and characteristics. Make sure you give two or more compliments for every criticism that you give. If you are talking as if you are scolding your child then it is time to take a step back and change how you are communicating with your spouse. Talk in a loving way and never with anger.
• Criticize behavior and never character. Focus on specific things that your partner did that you think should be addressed. Instead of saying ‘You are rude’ say ‘I know you were tired but I did not like the way that you talked to me earlier’.
• Be specific. Cite specific examples and discuss how your spouse could have handled it.
• Use ‘I’ instead of ‘you’. You will notice a big change in the tone of your conversations if you start your statements with ‘I’ instead of ‘you’. Starting everything with ‘you’ comes off as attacks or accusations.
• Skip the criticism. Before giving any criticism, ask yourself whether it will be of any use to you, your partner, and your relationship if you voice out your criticisms.

Tags: criticisms, Marriage, relationship