A few weeks before finally deciding to let mateo join the 1A (youngest) class of the Preschool level, I distinctly remember asking andrea how sure she was about the idea. I told her that the moment mateo starts school, it was the first step to letting him go. Now, eight months into the school year, we finally realize how true my fear was.

Yesterday, mateo climbed up the stairs of the Preschool building on his own, and not without the dramatics to emphasize the cruel separation. You see, if I remember correctly what andrea told me, mateo insisted on going up without accompaniment. In fact, he waited halfway of the steps up to see andrea off, before proceeding to his class – perhaps making sure that he wasn’t being followed. I know it seems too small an issue to dwell on, but mateo has never gone up to his class quietly before yesterday. Sometimes he would even insist that both of us go with him. And of all the skills that he has been evaluated in, that going up to class on his own is the only skill that has not been observed yet. What a way to prove everybody wrong. I guess it’s his own way of saying he’s ready… to grow up… and eventually to leave.

So first the first time after a long time, I carried him after class. When he requested for a karga, I didn’t hesitate to give him what he wanted. After all, it’s only a few more years till I won’t be able to carry him anymore, or till he refuses to be carried.

Tags: Children, letting go, Parenting